the dreaming pool

The first thing I remember is looking out a window, out to a forested back yard.  It was dusk. There was a path at the end of the backyard as well, that I could see through intermingled trees.  I could also see that there was a wire fence, with various gapes and holes in it.  I knew that if I howled I would bring wolves, so I let out a small and single howl.  In minutes, three or four wolves showed up - and seemed to know it was me who was calling for them.  They looked for a hole in the fence, found one, and started to jump through, making their way towards me - for which I was happy.

The dream skips then and I'm my friends car, with him at the wheel.  I'm in the back seat, and 2 other folks are in the front. We are parked on what seems like a dirt road, that ends to a shabby street. On the other side is a shabby, shack of a restaurant.  We are in a corridor, between buildings, and I'm not sure why we aren't pulling forward across the street to the drive by the restaurant.  A man comes out of the restaurant with a waiter - and begins to take our order.  We are all wanting delicious deserts. I know my friend Pam is there and she orders a chocolate cheesecake with a special coffee.  I order the same with a diet coke, at which point the waiter pops up with a chalkboard and exclaims that ordering 3 diet cokes make me 47 years old (he did the math on the chalkboard). I laugh and say I'm not nearly that old, and everyone in the car laughs at the thought.

The dreams skips again- and now it's just me and my male friend in the car, waiting for our deserts. It's night - and the sky above has a blue shimmer to it - I  note this much be an unseasonal and unusual aurora beurialis - and note that I do not have my glasses on to see it properly. I reach down to the car cubby to get them, and instead find my sunglasses. I put them back, then end up getting them again.  This time I set them aside, and after some digging, find my real glasses, however by the time I find them, the shimmering sky event is almost gone.  It's at this point my friend gets impatient and decides to drive around the block.  He roars out, and I ask him what the hell he is doing, that we would miss our deserts and they would think we had left without paying. He goes around taking shortcuts, even taking the car over stairs to get back to where we were.  (I think this harkens back to watching L.A Story previously in the evening). 

We park again, only this time his tires deflate, to which he exclaims there is nothing he can do about.  We walk now across the street to the restaurant, again, this odd shanty/lean to, that when we got closer, seemed to stretch on in the back some way. I have some flashback at this time of my sister coming here, that my sister had slept with the owner.  The owner, it turns out, is a shortish, older Mexican or Greek man.  He's not terribly attractive, but he looks fit.  He puts the moves on me a bit but I back off.  He says there are rooms for everything in every theme in his restaurant.  If we want to eat in Italy we can, Greece, that's good too.  I wonder at how this could be given the size of his small place.  I ask to use the facilities - and we enter.  To the side is a concrete hall/door, which I go into. He goes as well (the owner). I'm now in a large, underground concrete structure - and I think "is this where he keeps all the rooms?".  I see a bathroom sign, follow it around a bend, and enter.  Now for some reason he comes in after me.  I go to a large stall, but fail to close the door. He goes in the stall somewhat across from me, and also does not close his door. This does not seem to bother me in the least for some reason.  I pee, I cover myself a little, and then pull up my skirt (which I just realized I was wearing).  I see that he puts on a condom before zipping up.  I know that he wants to do with me, the same thing as he did with my sister.

This is where the dream turns somewhat nightmarish.

We go back to the shack, and there is a small living area there with a couch. My two female cousins are there, sitting on an adjacent couch, sipping tea. there is a small kitchen off the living area as well.  Now for some reason I agree to kiss this man, and his kiss isn't that bad, so I decide that I will make love to him. However my cousins seem to want to stay put and watch.  I kiss him some more, kiss his chest.. but realize I cannot continue with them watching.  He decides to get up for some reason, and I tell them they must go.  They inform me they watched my sister, to which I say I don't believe them. They said they did, and it was okay, because it was all being filmed anyway.  I was in shock.. being filmed, what? They point to a pinhole camera snaking it's way through jars on a shelf behind me, pointed in my direction.  I am enraged now, and turn the camera away. I then go into the kitchen where the man is and say I'm leaving, that I had seen the camera. At first he denies it, then he tries to calm me down, then he threatens me that no one ever leaves.  I storm out the door, but not before hearing him yelling at my cousins. I then hear them screaming - and i know they are being killed.  I realize this man kills women, and that I must now run towards the road. His drive seems long now, and I see he has now mounted a ATV - with sticks that launch and gore people attached and ready to kill me.  I run, see a large sign on the side of the drive and pick it up, ready to thwart any missiles.  His is on a road that is about to intersect mine.  I know he'll beat me, I cannot beat the V.  he launches his missile and I easily dodge it. Another comes, but I thwart it to the side with the sign.  Another comes, and this time I thwart it back to him, and he takes a tumble off his ATV.  He is now groaning in pain and crawling.  I realize at this point I WILL get away, and there is nothing he can do about it.

At this point I had to wake up to pee.. a dog barked in the dream and it snapped me out.  I woke up and wrote it while the memory was still fresh (so excuse grammer and spelling errors!).

I remember a dream about a mouse. 

I was in a condo much like I live in currently.  There was a dining/living area, and in the back there were bedrooms. The living area had the entrance to the unit coming off of it.  In the back rooms, my mother, and I think my aunt were sitting.  In the front near the door, my sister, and the son of a friend of mine (who is in his early 20's) was there.

I remember seeing a little lost mouse, a little deer mouse, in the hallway.  I leaned down, and in a soft whisper, coaxed the scared mouse into my hand.  I had to find it a new home.  I walked out to the door, and asked my sister and the male to help me with the door.  They looked contemptuous and said no.. they had better things to do.  So I turned back to the rooms, and as I walked down the hall I heard them laughing about me and my mouse.  My mother came and helped me with the door, and outside I finally walked with the mouse.

I was in a field at first, and placed the mouse in the grass.  But I soon realized he could be easily seen from the sky and eaten by a predator, so I scooped him up again.  I found a forest, and I saw a U shaped cut out in the forest, and in it was all these tiny little cubbies, with twigs, holes, papers.  I thought it was a perfect little place for the mouse, and put it in a small cubby.  However I noticed smoke was coming from some of the holes, and soon realized this was actually a giant fire pit.  I freaked, and took out the little cubby I had just put the mouse in, and removed all the twigs and stuff, revealing the frightened mouse.  I know I took it away from that place, but remember no more of the mouse after that.

Instead I was on some sort of slippery transparent surface, walking towards a CBC Kiosk, in which several men stood (including I think Peter Mansbridge). I was NOT on ice, but it was much like ice.  I came and stood by the kiosk, and suddenly beside me a whale came up and breathed and submerged again.  I was about to freak out when one of the men said it was nothing but a hologram, the surface I was on was a giant holographic device.  Then they took me by the hands and started leading me around the kiosk, sliding and skating.. and I was falling all over as they held me up. 

That is all I can recall.

Yes, I'm updating the dream log! No one faint.

I remember, lying in my bed, looking out a large window beside it.  There was a huge tree right next to the window, one of those trees that had knarls and knots in it.  The knots began to distort however, and I could see horrible masks and faces start to emerge.  Sharp teeth and horrible eyes.  I decided, that I did not want to see this, so I got up, and went out of the room.

Suddenly I was outside, I was on a dock or pier.  Wooden slats, kinda rickety, but I wasn't worried.  It crossed a pond or small lake, and then emerged onto what looked like a larger lake.  Yards away, in waters that were deeper, dolphins swam and emerged, and swam again. There seemed to be hundreds of them.  I thought I was near fresh water and I was confused as to why they were there.  I started humming a tune, a really nice song actually, one I had never heard before.  From the shores and trees and the dolphins themselves, they seemed to sing along with me.  I can't remember the words now, nor barely remember the tune, but I do recall it filled me with a sense of wonder and hope, and I truly enjoyed being there.  I know I wished a dolphin would swim closer, but it was shallow water where I stood, and I knew they couldn't come that close.

The dream skipped, and I was in a bathroom, naked in front of a mirror.  The door to the room was one of those translucent doors, that you can see thru a bit. On the other side I could see a man undressing, and I thought, oh no, that means he could see me.  But I looked at myself and realized that I had lost a lot of weight, and I didn't mind the way I looked at all, so seeing me would be okay.  Suddenly my ex husband, Neal, stormed through the door, holding all manner of birthday balloons.  He squealed "happy birthday!".  I said.. "it's not my birthday silly"... he said " i know but these were the best I could get. You are FREE don't you see! You're free and you should celebrate!".  With that he gave me a big hug and, indeed, I felt quite free.

The dream went on from there, but I cannot remember the rest.

I haven't posted in QUITE some time in this little dream journal.  It's not because I haven't dreamed, I have had plenty of odd dreams to be sure.  Mostly it's because since walking fully onto the Shamanic path I've been concentrating on making dreams a reality, instead of letting them simply be dreams.  In the Shamanic sense, I've been "stalking" my dreams a lot more than I ever used to.

Of course, I still struggle with the stalking concept a bit and how to apply that to the extremely metaphor laden dreams I seem to have, but I'm working on it.

My work in the Nagual has also been extremely personal and I've been reticent to share that online, and not exactly sure if it should be shared.  Things like power animals and power names and Nagual work - perhaps is not best served on the public internet.

Having said that I should be recording my dreams more often, so I shall endevor to update once again....

or not,

we'll see.

Usually with destruction dreams I get tornadoes (like the last dream I posted) but this time it was something different (and a lot more destructive).

I was in a kitchen - the kind that's open concept with a dining room or breakfast nook attached.  There's a patio door beside the "nook".  I am with my Mother and my sister.  My mother is standing with her back against the wall that the patio door is on, working away on the kitchen island - cutting veggies.  I look out the patio door.. and suddenly what looks like nuclear bombs are going off in the distance. It's hard to gauge how far but they look huge.  I know somehow this is not bombs, or tornadoes.  It's like clouds being expelled from the ground up, with rolls of black cloud expelling outwards.  It's like a volcano I realize, and I also realize we need to get to the basement because it's going to hit us.

I yell to my mother to come to the basement, but like an oblivious zombie she cuts veggies.  She does not hear me.  My sister and I head for the basement, just as a roll of cloud and mud hit the wall and I watch my mother crumble like a blown leaf over the kitchen island.  My sister and I are somehow not alone in the basement, others have joined us.  They look like construction workers, they all wear hard hats and have protective gear on.  I wonder if my sister and I should  hide in the crawl space to be further protected. I also wonder if we are going to be buried alive, beneath a mound of mud.

That is all I can remember of the dream.